Monday, 5 November 2007

Guest Blogger #2: John Ice-Cream - "Stolen Hearts."

So I bin asked to rite this blog fer axl cuz he's away or whatever. I bin tolda rite about whatever I want.

Today I heard some real whack limeys called Westlife singin some song or other bout if I ever had my heart stolen. Yo, you guys think if I had I would still be fuckin standin here? Stupid motherfuckers.
So's it got me thinkin, why is there all this heart bisniss in love anyways?
"You broke my heart." No they fuckin didnt you mook, they jus hurt you real bad. If they broke yer heart you wouldn be fuckin standin there all cryin an shit, youd be on the fuckin floor not breathin you dumb fuck.
"When I see them, my heart beats faster." Thats cuz yer excited cuz you like someone, not cuz a some heart-love connection in yer body, jeez.
"Do what yer heart tells you." Yer heart dont tell you to do shit, jerkoff. It's yer fuckin brain. Yer emotions are all in yer head, nowhere else.

Jeez, love sure does turn people into dumb shit fer brains. An yo, who da fuck is buyin this fuckin Westlife shit? I was in a record store today, and they played a whole loada there songs while I was there. These guys don have a pair a balls between em! Fuckin pathetic little fuckin pansies, singin like the most fuckin awful thing I ever fuckin heard in my whole life! Jeez man, these guys sound like a fuckin old peoples home or somethin. They got songs even fuckin Boyz II Men wouldn fuckin touch. These guys need a fuckin lesson if yer no what I mean.

I like England. Its nice. You got some old shit here that looks real good.

Ah shit, I can't think a what else ta rite about now. Will that do?

Written and e-mailed to the potato farm by John Ice-Cream. All rights reserved.

No comments: