You can hold me to this.
If there's a better album than the new LCD Soundsystem album released this year, I'll eat my own spunk."
Don't worry though, for the true fans you can still read about "Proper" music in certain magazines and newspapers. Well, you could if they hadn't all become a parody of themselves. NME really has become Heat magazine for music fans, we all used to joke about it, but now it actually has come true. I keep expecting to turn the page and find "Torso Of The Week" or photographs of someone from Klaxons yawning with a circle around the edge of his mouth and a big arrow pointing to a bit of dribble coming out with a hilarious caption exclaiming disbelief that he can possibly bear being out in public like this. Q meanwhile has become the music industry's MOR bitch, but then kind of always has been really. When was the last time you ever bought something, or even checked something out coz you read about them in Q? Uncut is all well and good, and I'm sure when I'm in my fifties I'll absolutely love it. Mojo still remains the bastion of good mainstream music publishing, but even they seem to recently have been prone to bouts of sucking the executives corporate money cock. How else could you explain the absolute gushing over the Robert Plant & Alison Krauss album? If you haven't heard this album, it's terrible. It defines the word "Bland" perfectly. It's like listening to your parents perfect album. Actually, thinking about it, they did this last year (or was it the year before?) with the last David Gilmour album. For those of you who haven't heard that album, it sounds like Dire Straits were commissioned to record an album for play in a doctor's waiting room. You know that scene in Wayne's World (or is it Wayne's World 2?) where Garth imagines he's at a Kenny G gig, but instead of being in a regular seat, his is a dentist's chair with a dentist performing surgery on him seemingly with no anaesthetic? That's what I imagine happening to me when I think of either of the albums I just mentioned.All that this means is that the independent market becomes saturated because everyone believes what they read nowadays. So now everyone thinks Hadouken! are somehow ground-breaking and that Gallows are the most exciting new band to come out of Britain in years. The hype these bands have generated, especially in NME (who named the singer from Gallows as the coolest person of the year) is obscene and quite frankly hopelessly misguided.