Tuesday, 28 November 2006


Right now it's 10:46pm which means I'm doing what every right minded, decent thinking human should be doing right now. Listening to PC's radio show. BUT, all is not well, and not just because I turned over at 10:30 to find the previous show still on followed by a plethora of advertisments, two of which were played twice(!) and one which I swear was for an alcoholic drink called 'Quims', which meant I could've listened to at least another 12 mins of what I'm sure was Esbjorn Svensson Trio live on Radio 3.
No, dear readers, all is literally not well as, as you probably guessed from the title (which is not 3, but could be as this is after all my third post on this blog), I am ill. I had a mild cold for about a week and a half, and just as it seemed to be dying down, BANG! An illness bomb hit me right in the head. So did I lay in bed, recouperating & generally taking proper care of myself? No. Muggins here went to work, which has a tendancy to wind me up if you hadn't noticed by the fact that all I've really done on this blog so far is bitch about my job/place of work. Well today I shaln't be bothering you all with boring work gripes, oh no. Today I have a far more pressing matter to complain about.
Today, in an effort to cheer myself up somewhat, I bought myself a packet of Starburst. Now, I used to fucking love Opal Fruits as a kid, so I was really looking forward to this pack of Starburst. But lo and behold, instead of the delicious fruity sweets of my childhood, I had in fact purchased a cuboid of utter disappointment, filled with slabs of nasty little over-sweetened hideousness! They all tasted almost exactly the same as each other, except each one had been shown a different fruit briefly and told to "Do that!". It was as if you went to the cinema to see the re-release of a film you love but haven't seen for years, only to find the projectors weren't working and they'd hired a really shit mime act to mime out the film instead. I only bought them coz someone at work gave me a Fruit-Tella the other day, and it was really nice. Hardly comparable to having a chew of a Starburst and, instead of an entire galaxys worth of flavour forcing itself upon your mouth as the name seems to suggest, finding that some things really are better left in the past of your childhood, along with dungarees, mirrored sunglasses and wetting the bed.
I was so disappointed.
There goes another bit of my childhood.
At least Ribena is still as good as ever. Possibly even better.

Sunday, 26 November 2006

Led Zeppelin

I had a really shit day at work today so have decided to rediscover Led Zeppelin. Fuck me, I forgot how much i fucking love them.
That's the problem I find with bands who are pretty big/well known. Coz I hear them a lot, I kind of stop listening to them of my own choosing, which leads me to kind of forget about them, and how much I like them.
So anyway Christmas is coming, which means all the socially retarded brain dead zombies come to my place of work saying things like "I am reliably informed that you have a couple of Charley Patton boxsets for sale, a large one and a smaller brown one."
"Well we have got one." I walked him over to it "We do have this one, but we don't have another one than that I'm afraid."
"Yes you do."
OH YES I'M SO SORRY! YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW A LOT BETTER WHAT IS AND ISN'T IN MY DEPARTMENT, DON'T YOU?! YEAH, I WAS JUST LYING TO TEST YOU THERE, BUT NOTHING GETS PAST YOU, DOES IT CUNT-FACE?! Just coz someone you know once saw something somewhere and told you about it, that means it's definitely still going to be there when you get round to looking for it. Oh, no, wait, OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOESN'T!! GET SOME FUCKING COMMON SENSE YOU STUCK UP LITTLE TWAT!!
I did double check for him and, low and behold, we didn't have any other. Instead of accepting that where i work wasn't waiting in a state of stasis until he could come in to look for something, he picked up another cd that wasn't a boxset or brown and said "I think he must've meant this one." Well done mate, you really saved face there! He even bought it. Prick. This is the kind of thing I have to put up with every day. I love Oxford and everything, being born and having lived here since, but it is full of absolute dickheads.
Also, I really don't want to sound bad minded here but I can't help it, I've noticed something about Daniel O'Donnell. All his fans are either old women, or mentally ill. I'm not kidding here, I have only ever twice sold a Daniel O'Donnell cd to someone who didn't fit either criteria. One of those was someone buying it for his mum too, so he doesn't really count.
I wonder what Daniel O'Donnell would write in his blog?
"Woke up this morning and had a lovely cup o' tea. Postman brought me more fanmail this morning, more lovely sweaters from my sweet, dear fans, more letters with the phrase "If I was in my youth...", more home baked cakes. It really is a shame I can't eat them all, but i have to think about my figure, don't I ladies?
"Majella is so upset that virtually no-one has bought her album. It upsets me too, but as I said to her before, "Majella darling, you can't have a hit record just by being someones wife. I had to slog it for years on my very own television programme before I was the big star I am today." I think she understood what I was trying to say. Maybe one day she'll let me touch her again..."
I wouldn't be at all surprised if it turned out Daniel O"Donnell beat his wife.

Friday, 24 November 2006

Christian Music Fans

Good Moses, what is it with people who shop for "Christian Music"? They are always so rude! They seem to think that just because they've been saved by God, that gives them the right to speak to people however they like! Strikes me as being a bit un-Christian if you ask me. You didn't, but I'm telling you anyway.
Also, call me a bit fucking mental, but if i was trying to convert people to my religion, or save them from eternal damnation, I wouldn't do it by barking rhetoric and dogma at them in the middle of the street. Although I do miss that guy who walk up and down Cornmarkey Street shouting, seemingly to himself, about how everyone shouldgive their lives to Jesus Christ while sporting some rather dapper dayglo/flourescent suits. That guy with the flipchart style display unit who's often out on saturdays needs a good thumping tho'. I've heard him saying some shocking things to people. Can't remember what they were now tho'.
See, that's the problem with it. You never remember what it is that these people say, just how mental they are. Is that really the best way to get your message across?
I would however take a hundredof them over that cunt that dresses up as some kind of hideous stereotype of a Native American and just stands still for a bit. If you give him money, he bows. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? Not only is what you're doing totally pointless and of absolutely no worth whatsoever, but it's pretty fucking racist too. What, you think that because you got stoned so much you thought that being a hippy was somehow a good idea, that makes you understand and can represent cultures you, let's face it have absolutely no concept of? FUCK YOU! You and that woman who sometimes sits next to you doing even less than you do. Stop wasting oxygenand actually do something. That guy really needsthe shit kicking out of him.
Hmmm. I've kind of got away from my original point, which was the irony of Christian Music fans being the rudest people i regularly have to serve at work. I would like to point out that i do know Christian Music fans that this does not apply to, my dad included. Thing is, they go to specialist shops or specific intenet sites to get their cds from. I wonder if theres something in that?