Sunday, 26 November 2006

Led Zeppelin

I had a really shit day at work today so have decided to rediscover Led Zeppelin. Fuck me, I forgot how much i fucking love them.
That's the problem I find with bands who are pretty big/well known. Coz I hear them a lot, I kind of stop listening to them of my own choosing, which leads me to kind of forget about them, and how much I like them.
So anyway Christmas is coming, which means all the socially retarded brain dead zombies come to my place of work saying things like "I am reliably informed that you have a couple of Charley Patton boxsets for sale, a large one and a smaller brown one."
"Well we have got one." I walked him over to it "We do have this one, but we don't have another one than that I'm afraid."
"Yes you do."
OH YES I'M SO SORRY! YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW A LOT BETTER WHAT IS AND ISN'T IN MY DEPARTMENT, DON'T YOU?! YEAH, I WAS JUST LYING TO TEST YOU THERE, BUT NOTHING GETS PAST YOU, DOES IT CUNT-FACE?! Just coz someone you know once saw something somewhere and told you about it, that means it's definitely still going to be there when you get round to looking for it. Oh, no, wait, OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOESN'T!! GET SOME FUCKING COMMON SENSE YOU STUCK UP LITTLE TWAT!!
I did double check for him and, low and behold, we didn't have any other. Instead of accepting that where i work wasn't waiting in a state of stasis until he could come in to look for something, he picked up another cd that wasn't a boxset or brown and said "I think he must've meant this one." Well done mate, you really saved face there! He even bought it. Prick. This is the kind of thing I have to put up with every day. I love Oxford and everything, being born and having lived here since, but it is full of absolute dickheads.
Also, I really don't want to sound bad minded here but I can't help it, I've noticed something about Daniel O'Donnell. All his fans are either old women, or mentally ill. I'm not kidding here, I have only ever twice sold a Daniel O'Donnell cd to someone who didn't fit either criteria. One of those was someone buying it for his mum too, so he doesn't really count.
I wonder what Daniel O'Donnell would write in his blog?
"Woke up this morning and had a lovely cup o' tea. Postman brought me more fanmail this morning, more lovely sweaters from my sweet, dear fans, more letters with the phrase "If I was in my youth...", more home baked cakes. It really is a shame I can't eat them all, but i have to think about my figure, don't I ladies?
"Majella is so upset that virtually no-one has bought her album. It upsets me too, but as I said to her before, "Majella darling, you can't have a hit record just by being someones wife. I had to slog it for years on my very own television programme before I was the big star I am today." I think she understood what I was trying to say. Maybe one day she'll let me touch her again..."
I wouldn't be at all surprised if it turned out Daniel O"Donnell beat his wife.


schmemma said...

turns out the customers up here are just as spasticated..if not more..i quote "do you have the know..the one that's been on the telly a while back. you know. the funny one. you know.." "any idea of the title? who's in it? anything?" "'s that funny know..". arg.

Fat Chan said...

Haha, I miss the stories from hmmmmmvvvv. I only ever had to experience the phone people, like Mrs FUCKING Bricknell, right that's it I'm going to write a blog about this.!

Fat Chan said...
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