Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Someone Almost Certainly Said Something Just Like This At The Time.....

.....but Simply Red re-released the "Stars" album this week, and the song "Stars" came on at work. You all know it, the one that goes "I wanna fall from the stars straight into your arms."
Well it got me thinking. If you actually could fall from the stars & straight into someone's arms, the impact would almost certainly kill them aswell as you.
This is of course ignoring 2 other fundamental flaws with Mick Hucknall's sentiment.
a) In space, where there is no oxygen or gravity, you wouldn't be able to fall anywhere. You would just die straight away and drift forever as a floating corpse. Actually, I'm pretty sure one of my Mum's ex-boyfriends once told me while we were watching "Moonraker" that if you were to try to breathe in space, the pressure would cause you to explode. But he may have been making that up. I don't know for sure, and right now I can't be bothered to "Google" it.
b)If you could fall to Earth from space, you would almost certainly burn up in the Earth's atmosphere leaving this poor sod you're singing to waiting, arms outstretched, wondering where the hell you are & why a piece of over-cooked chicken just landed at their feet.

So in conclusion, Mick Hucknall's sentiment may be very nice and romantic, but is highly impractical and fatally flawed. Although it could be said that anyone willing to do whatever Mick Hucknall tells them to do deserves whatever they get.
I've never really had a problem with Mick Hucknall. Yes, he seems pretty arrogant as hell, but he is so arrogant it seems that he refuses to be seen anywhere with anyone. When was the last time you saw Mick Hucknall in a newspaper, or a gossip mag? Exactly. He just keeps himself to himself until he has an album to promote, and then carries himself in a dignified manner until he's had enough and just wants to be left alone again. If only more celebrities were like him, then maybe we'd have some actual news on the front pages of the papers, rather than being force fed all the ins & outs of a pop star & a footballer who maybe weren't as perfect for each other as they had previously thought. Well thanks, but quite frankly I never much cared for explicit coverage of some poor woman who's had her heart broken, watching them lose weight and be unhappy. Call me fucking kerrayzeee, but I don't think that 24 hour paparazzi bothering is really the best way to go about this situation.

But then, what do I know?

P.S. I'm not gonna go making any promises of bodily fluid consumption (believe me, I learned my lesson last time!), but I am going to make a musical prediction, pretty much just so in a few months time I can hopefully be really smug and say I told you so.
Here's my prediction: Portico Quartet's "Knee Deep In The North Sea" album will be nominated for the Mercury Music Prize this year.
Reasons? They're a British jazz band who made, in my opinion, the best jazz album of 2007, with an excellent and unique take on the genre. The Mercury Panel creamed over Basquiat Strings last year with their string-quartet-with-jazz-drummer-and-bassist setup combining classical music with modern jazz. While rare and interesting, it's a concept that has been done before. I've never heard or known of anyone using Hang's in a jazz setup. For anyone who doesn't know what a Hang is, look here: to find out. The use of this particular instrument is what really sets Portico Quartet out from anyone else (that, and the fact that they are really good players and composers). The use of this instrument's sound is both interesting and innovative, and in a year when jazz was, on the whole, a bit dull (2007 want a patch on 2006 overall), in November, they released one of the freshest and most interesting jazz albums to have been heard in years. Sure, the critics all creamed over Empirical (as well they should, we haven't had a British jazz group quite like them. A traditional quintet setup that can stand up alongside the very best of the U.S. small groups) , but if Portico Quartet get the nomination they deserve, the critics are gonna be kicking themselves that they didn't get there sooner.


Anonymous said...

Sorry Dude, but portico quartet will win nothing. "Knee deep in the north sea?" shame they weren't head deep!
If you want my opinion Melady Gardot should get something as should ...hmm actually thats it. If hancock get one i'll go crazy cos he's just as bad!

Much love
Cowboy Craig

Mr Axl said...

Craig you knob, I said they would be NOMINATED, not that they would win. Everyone knows the token jazz entry never wins.

And as for your opinion on them, go and hide under a Nashville rock with Shooter Jennings and Brad Paisley, you loser.

Haha, your taste in music sucks.

Anonymous said...

[Witty and well-informed comment about music]

We love you Mr. Axl.


Any right thinking girl x