A Curious Weekend.

Part 1: Me & Mr Viner, Down In The Cellar.

My good chum Mr James Viner was in the Ford for the weekend, so Saturday night was spent boozing with him. We started off in The Star, chewing the fat for a while. Then decided to go to The Cellar. My memories of this evening are quite vague due to too much cider. I remember James taking it upon himself to chat girls up on my behalf, which backfired when they just ended up fancying him. Haha! I remember Helen, Jon, Pippa & Paul being there at some point. Mostly I just remember laughing with/at James. It was fun.

I woke up on Sunday with a hideous hangover and ketchup on my groin.

Part 2: Mary & The BBQ.

Anyone who attended last years Junction Road BBQ Spectaculaaarrrrrrrr will testify to how good it was. This year there was plenty of good food, booze, people and music. It was a pretty nice afternoon, with some good conversation & shenanigans. Then all of a sudden this woman turned up in the garden. This drunk woman in her 50's. All of a sudden she latched herself onto Hootie. It became apparent very quickly that actually no-one knew who she was. People threw apples at her. She didn't leave. People ignored her. She didn't leave. People very unsubtly took the piss out of her. She did not leave. This went on for over 2 hours and involved a water slide, Hootie having a shower and even Tom talking to her from Reading (or were they at Leeds then?) on the phone. Still she hung on to the BBQ like a limpet. Even when she was told to leave she stayed. V & I were telling her why she had to leave and why she wasn't welcome for a good 15 - 20 minutes and she still wouldn't fucking leave. (Exchanges included: "Listen, listen, listen. I've got 4 kids yer age. The youngest is 21, the eldest 31." - "Yes. You've already said that. What exactly is your point?" - "I'm not making a point." and "You 2 are horrible." - "How do you expect to be welcome at a party where you don't know anyone and you insult people?" - "How am I insulting anyone?") Eventually she had to be tricked into leaving, which involved someone literally forcing her out of the front door, while Andrew manned the garten gate to make sure she didn't come back in. The really annoying thing about it though was that when we had finally got rid of her, it was time for me to go myself! Fucks sake.

Part 3: The Walk Off at The Cellar.

(Some of you may have seen the film of this if you could be bothered to go to the link on my previous post and watch it. I bet you didn't though, did you.)
Yes, I had to leave coz I was going to see The Walk Off who were doing a gig for an internet company who were broadcasting it. Thing is, what with it being Reading weekend, and August Bank Holiday (official UK BBQ day) and the fact that the gig was announced on like Wednesday, no-one turned up. So Blake decided to use the money they were being paid by Optix and get the few of us who were there drunk, then get us all sitting on stage with them during their set. This became probably the most surreal gig I've ever been to. It pretty much decended into a kind of hilarious drunken choas. My personal highlights were Cotty grabbing a mic off the floor and rambling into it while I leaned over from my stool and made noise on his guitar, going to give Staz a high-five and falling over on the floor followed by her sitting on me after which I stayed lying on the floor until someone poured beer over my face, Blake serenading me ("I love you Axl! I love everything you do!"), and after the gig had finished, Josh trying to figure out what had just happened. Oh, and lots of Maraca playing, while not at all looking like a bit of a dick. The film really doesn't portray the feeling of just total bizarrness that was felt that night. It was mental.

It was totally awesome.