"A-HEM...."

When did coughing become an acceptable way of gaining someone's attention? "Hmmm, I wish to attract that chaps attention with the intention of asking him something. How could I do that? I could always just ask him. No, that would not be polite enough. I know what I'll do. I'll expell some germs from my mouth in a very obviously fake manner, over-emphasising the sound and then look expectant when he turns to me. Yes, that would be best for all, I'm sure."

Wrong. It is rude. Rude and unsanitary. If you do this, you are a prick. I've started ignoring people who cough now. It pisses them off. Serves them right, wankers.

Although, that said, there is one thing that pisses me off even more.

"Hmm, how can I get this nice young man to help me? I could ask him for his assistance? No, don't want to seem pushy. Cough? No. Oooh, I know. I'll go and pathetically stand next to him and just look at him, saying nothing until he notices what I'm doing and asks if I need any help. Yes, that's the one for me."

Fuck's sake. Don't just stand there like a lemon you idiots. I can't read your mind you know. If you want to know something, your going to actually have to say something eventually anyway, so why the whole ridiculous "Ooooh, I couldn't possibly be the first one of us to speak" bullshit?

These are just a couple of things that have pissed me off at work recently. I made a list that I was going to post as a seperate blog, but I might as well just do it now.

There was a guy in last week who asked "What are you playing?"
It was the new recording of some Golijov works. I went to show him the cd. "Don't worry, I'm trying not to listen to it."
I showed him anyway, partly coz I was already doing it, but mostly to piss him and his smug fucking face off.
Then he chipped in with "Are you playing it backwards?"
Cue smug face and chuckle.
God I hate knob-ends like him.

Just like I hate people who try to make small talk while I'm serving them. Ok, I don't hate all of them, but it's at least 85%. They'll say any old shit, seemingly unable to handle any speechless situation, desperatly trying to fill the void with their stupid mouth noise. I especially hate the ones who feel the need to justify their spending of money to me. I don't care. Go away. The people who seem to seek approval really piss me off too. People who say things like "That was quick" when using the card reader can shut the fuck up too.

"Have you got this in stock"- No, sorry. Nothing in stock I'm afraid- "What, nothing at all?"
No, I mean nothing apart from my secret stash I keep up my arse.
Dickhead.

I have to go now, as I'm falling asleep wile typing this.
I'll put the rest up later.