I spent ages coming up with this bloody MySpace questionaire, and the bastrads won't let me post it. Although, my test bulletins appear to have posted fine and care free. My conclusion is that MySpace are censoring bastards. But I spent too much effort crafting it perfectly to have it banned from public view, so here it is:
THE AXL QUESTIONAIRE
1. What's the best thing you've ever bought in a charity shop and how much was it?
2. How many teeth do you have?
3. If you were ever forced to play Russian Roulette, how much do you think you would shit yourself?
4.If you had to lick yourself clean like a dog or a cat, and you'ld licked everything else clean, which would you clean first, your genitals or your anus?
5. If, like Duran Duran you were Hungry Like The Wolf, how would you sate your lycanthropic hunger?
6. Which of your bodily functions do you enjoy the most, and which do you enjoy the least?
7.Have you ever hospitalised someone? If so, how?
8. Would you rather have sex with a live animal or a dead human?
9. Would you either wear an eyeball on a necklace, or an appendix as a bracelet?
10. Soul singer/legend Solomon Burke has 21 children. If you had 21 children, what would you call them, and what system would you implement to tell which child was which?
11. If you had to eat part of your own body, which part would you pick?
12. What does your soul look like?
13. If you were shrunk like those kids from "Honey I Shrunk The Kids", how would you go about alerting your friends and family to your situation, and how would you make sure they didn't think you were an insect and either kill you, swat you away, pick you up in a tissue and throw you away, or put a cup on you, slide a card underneath and chuck you out a window?
14. If you were on a reality tv show where you had your hand cut off and put in an identity parade of hands and your only chance of getting your hand reattached was to pick your hand out from it, do you actually know the back of your hand well enough to choose your hand?
15. Speaking of hands, and be honest now, do you ALWAYS wash your hands after going to the toilet?
16. What about every time you have a wank?
17. If a film were made about your life, what would it be called, who would play you, & would everyone say the book was better?
18. What would you deem a reasonable price for a prostitute to charge for a blowie? Is this the amount you would charge yourself if you were a whore?
19. Pick the top 2 friends on your MySpace of the opposite sex. If you were trapped on a desert island with these people, if you had to, which one would you eat, and which would you have sex with?
20. If you ever had sex with a member of your own family, do you think you would ever be able to look them in the eye again?
Take that wankers.