After a stupidly hectic few days (our shop is one of the final 5 of which one will be crowned best store in the company so everyone has been running around like a mad-arse trying to make a shop look like a museum), today (25/04) has been like a work based come-down. As 5:30pm came, I was in a total brain numb and was reduced to sniffing marker pens just to have some kind of sensation. I was secretly hoping for a dizzying high and hallucinations. Maybe a conversation with a cocktail drinking elephant, sitting on a canal boat that suddenly appeared where cd shelving units once were. The elephant would take me aboard and we would sail down a golden canal and pluck the fruit of the trees and the elephant would take off it's sunglasses to reveal two faberge eggs where it's eyes should be, which would hatch, giving birth to 30 unicorns who would circle me, singing a mystical unicorn song, then make love to each other.
What did I get? About half a minute of giggling at a song called "Poontang" followed by about half an hour of a mildly annoying headache. Basically, it was like doing a really shit version of poppers.
Don't look at me like that, you have no idea how bored I was.