Lucky My Cock.

It's one of life's eternal questions. Who came up with the utterly ludicrous idea that being shat on by a pigeon is somehow lucky? What part of having a bird's fecal matter on your person is in any way fortunate? I can only think of one situation in which that could be considered anything other than awful, that being the situation where you have just left the house wearing something that you really don't want to but have been forced to by a partner or parent/other family member, and a bird poos on this item of clothing. "Oh no, I can't possibly go out like this! I'll have to change." Saved from a day in clothing you don't like. That's it tho. There is no other situation where it would be a good thing. (Not one that actually would happen anyway. I don't want anyone saying "Oh, but Axl, what if some beautiful woman were to say that they would have sex with you if a bird shat on you?" THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. Don't try and be a smart-arse.)

The only reasons I can think of that this bizarre phrase/saying/whatever has come to be is that either:
a) Someone was in the clothing situation I mentioned earlier and told their mates about it, then when one of them was with someone who had a bird poo on them, they said to the poo-ee "Did I ever tell you about my mate...". Said poo-ee passes story on in a similar way, and through the "Chinese Whispers" effect it suddenly becomes something that is said to be lucky by people at large.
or:
b) Someone who is really really cool once got pooed on by a bird, and their friends/followers had to come up with a way to process the fact that something un-cool had happened to someone cool. Because as we all know, cool people never have to tie their shoelaces in the street, they never stumble or trip on an uneven pavement, they never sneeze in public and have that gross thing where snot is hanging from their nose and they don't have a tissue on them so have to use their sleeve which leaves that streaky trail like a slug's been crawling up yr arm, no, nothing uncool ever happens to cool people, so an explanation had to be invented.

Seriously, why else could it be that that is good luck? What about all the other unpleasant things that happen to people? No-one ever says they give you good luck. Maybe it's because a bird shitting on you is quite a rarity.

I have only ever been pooed on once by a bird. An ex-girlfriend of mine once did a poo on my chest while I was tied to the bed. She thought it would be sexy. It was just gross. My bedroom stank for days.

Not really. Had you going there for a moment tho, didn't I?

I have only ever been pooed on once by a bird. A seagull pooed on my foot while I was at a beach. It certainly didn't feel very lucky. It just felt really gross. And it hurt too. I don't know what the fuck seagulls eat, but there were hard lumps in that poo. My foot was sore for the rest of the day. Is that lucky? No. It's just annoying.

I can see no reason for it to be good luck to be shat on by birds. I guess it must just be a way to try and look on the bright side of something really unpleasant happening to you. Maybe we should start saying that other unpleasant things are lucky too. Things like:
* Stubbing your toe.
* Stepping in dog poo.
* Buying one of those cold pasta salads from a supermarket or Boots as a quick and convenient lunch or snack, only to find that there isn't a little plastic fork/spork where there should be.
* Tearing your clothes.
* Losing a badge.
* Accidentally saying something offensive as a joke in the presence of someone who would be genuinely offended or upset by what you are saying.
* Having toothache.
* Having an ingrowing toenail.
* Being bitten by a dog.
* Being bitten by a mosquito.
* Burping up a little bit of bile into your mouth, then reflexively swallowing it back down which burns your throat and leaves an appalling taste in yr mouth.
* Hitting someone while driving a car.
* Being accidentally spat on in the face by someone who is talking to you.
* Getting a paper cut.
* Laughing drink thru yr nose.
* Forgetting you have onion or chili on your finger and rubbing your eye with it.

There are loads of things that could be considered lucky by virtue of being unpleasant. Maybe we should all start saying that they are. Might be amusing.