Tuesday, 10 March 2009
A Week Of Being Un-Sexy For Lent.
After the trauma of being so sexy last week, I have spent the last week trying to make sure I didn't make the same mistake again. It's been pretty successful. Here's a short list of the un-sexy things that I have done:
* Got far too excited and vocal about the fact that my local Tesco have started stocking Ribena again.
* My body has obviously got in on the act because all of a sudden, I've started getting spots again.
* Had 7 hours sleep over a three day period. People looking tired to the point of collapse are not sexy.
* Cried. Crying men are not sexy.
* It was the stockcount where I work on the 5th. There is absolutely nothing sexy about stockcounts.
* Wore the same clothes far too many days in a row. This was purely by accident, but I'm sure it helped.
* Turned up for work on Saturday having brought the wrong work top with me - the one that REALLY needed washing.
On Saturday after drinking with people from work, then my mate Emma and others at the Star, I went to a party. Being quite drunk, there was a risk that some sexy would slip out, but I managed to reign it in by;
* Dancing like a knobhead in the front room.
* Continuing to drink past the point of sensibility.
* Taking a red pill someone gave me, having no idea what it was. Foolishness is not sexy.
* Saying the words: "Look at them whispering to each other, gossiping about how they think I wanna have sex with them." That's not just un-sexy, it's downright embarrassing. But of course, that just makes it more un-sexy.
* Saying very loudly to a friend that the guy they were trying to have sex with "looks like an oil-slick."
I'm sure there is more, but I can't remember anymore right now. I had an idea that I would shave half of my beard off, and also half of my hair, so that the left side of my head was still hairy, but the right side hairless. Then what happened? Comic Relief nicked my idea and used it in one of their adverts. Bastards.
I spent most of yesterday in bed sleeping and resting after the lack of sleep the previous 3 days. I feel thoroughly grimy and un-sexy. I might give up on this lent vow you know. It's just too easy.