Bloody Fucking Christmas Innit.

Yes, it has been Christmas time. The most wonderful time of the year, some say. Do they know it is at all others say. Some say "Bah Humbug" while others don't stop bloody shouting about it. And how has Axl celebrated the birth of a possibly fictional character in a book written hundreds of years ago? By being ill, that's how.

Hmmm, that's interesting. Imagine if hundreds of years from now people find a copy of a Harry Potter book or something and interpret it as an ancient religious text. Maybe we've simply misunderstood. Maybe the Bible was just a best-seller of the 4th century and we've totally been sucked into some sort of bizarre cult that got way out of hand. Imagine if years from now people base entire civilisations on the teachings of a John Grisham novel. Now is one of the few times I wish I read more proper books, coz if I did I could really go to town with this idea and create an awesome and hilarious blog. Sadly the last actual book I read that wasn't a biography was at least 4 years ago if not longer, so that's that one down the pan. I could go into ideas of how modern civilisations could be based on comic strips, but the bible wasn't a comic book. I wonder if a comic book based on the bible would be any good? Depends who was doing it I suppose. I think it would take someone who wasn't actually a Christian to do a good job of it, someone who wouldn't get bogged down in sentimentality, or be too concerned about projecting the message of the bible. Someone who would just portray an un-biased version of the story itself. That might be interesting. I did come up with an idea for a computer game based on the bible, but I can't remember the details of it now. I'm being a bit useless today, aren't I? Well, fuck you, it's Christmas and I'm ill.

AND I had to work today. Which really sucked major horse testes. It was sooooooo dull. Dull as fuck. There was pretty much no point in us being open at all. But I don't want to talk about that.

Oh balls, I've forgotten what was gonna be next. Eventually I was gonna get on to Band Aid and other Christmas music, so I guess I'll do that now. Maybe I should start planning these blogs a bit better.
Anyway, Christmas working in HMV equals Christmas songs a-plenty. One of the major downsides to this for me is that my least favourite song of all time is a christmas song, and this means I undoubtedly have to listen to it several times every year. (Just in case you're wondering, the song I'm reffering to is "Stop The Cavalry" by Jona Lewie. I fucking hate that song so fucking much, it's probably bad for my health.) One song that you will innevitably hear is "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band Aid, a song that gets more and more sickening and patronising every time you hear it. "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?" they ask, of an entire continent. AN ENTIRE FUCKING CONTINENT!! Yeah, coz every single person in Africa is a starving child aren't they? Well, ok maybe that's a little harsh to criticise the over simplification. No, hang on, it's not. Secondly, the areas they are actually singing about, why would they know it's Christmas? They're not a fucking Christian society! Amazingly enough, isolated areas that don't believe in a christian God and don't know the story of Jesus, don't know about Christmas! Shocking, I know. Even more bizarrely, people who are literally starving to death, may not exactly give a shit that the western world is celebrating the birth of a man we've only ever read about in a book.
"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time..."
Well there are two things wrong with this. One, there are mountains in Africa which do have snowy peaks, so that is plain wrong. Two, the areas which Band Aid sing about do not have an appropriate eco-system to support a snowy climate. That in itself is not something to be all lovey-sentimental about. There won't be snow in Australia this Christmas time, but you don't see anyone writing a song about it, do you? No. So shut up. Take your sugary sentimentality and fuck off, write a decent song and then come back.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total scrooge, there are some Christmas songs I like. Just not many. For some reason it seems that Christmas, especially recently, is not a subject matter that creates good songwriting. I say recently, but thinking about it, a lot of the old ones are just as bad, and I'm sorry but there is no such thing as a good christmas carol. They're all shit.

Ok, I've totally forgotten what else I was going to write. I'm actually really pissed off about this coz this keeps happening to me these days. I'm actually genuinely really angry. I'm gonna go to bed now all grumpy and shit. Fucks sake, sometimes I wonder why I even bother.