Tuesday, 19 December 2006

Ok everyone, get comfy...

This is probably gonna be a long one.

So, I woke up on Sunday morning and couldn't remember leaving the pub. This is never a good thing. It was 6:45am and my computer was on. "Oh god, what have I done?" A quick check of e-mails and MySpace seems to show nothing done there. I'd obviously tried to write a blog and failed, so no bad there. A check of the phone shows a bunch of texts were sent but none are saved, at this point I started feeling like a paranoid teenager so I switched everything off and went back to sleep.
Sunday was a nice day, Alex back in Oxford, we met up with Mr Riley and went for a christmas lunch with Wil, his lady wife Farrah and some of their chums where we ate food and took the piss out of the piano player. Dunno why I'm telling you this, it's a bit like forcing holiday photos on someone. Anyway I was still curious as to this missing part of my evening. Any contact from people who'd been with me was positive tho', so I figured I was in the clear. So on me & Alex went to the Cellar to see the not Hair Police gig. I had been told that Hair Police were playing and had got very excited, only to find out a couple of days before the gig that it was in fact Aids Wolf and not Hair Police, but me & Riley (he met us again there) were still in the mood for a gig, and Alex was up for it too. So, we get in, and this band called The Pluto are playing. The Pluto are good. I really enjoyed them. I'm listening to their cd now, and I still like them. This is a good sign.
Anyway, I can't remember when but at some point Russ came up to me and said "You made me laugh last nite." Uh oh. Danger. Warning lights. I don't remember him being at The Star after he drummed for Smilex at Your Song. After explaining that he would have to tell me why as I clearly had no recollection of whatever he was talking about, He told me.
I'm not going to repeat it on a public forum, especially as I've heard that Lex is plotting some kind of unnecessary revenge and I don't really want to add any potential fuel to his fire.
So, next up on stage were a band called Pre. Pre are absolutly hilarious. A band of men who all look the same trying to make some kind of noise assault while a small Japanese looking woman squeals like a pig into a microphone. It was total rubbish, but I couldn't stop laughing. Alex said later they reminded her of that episode of Spaced where they go and see Vulva's theatre performance.
But at least they were funny. Aids Wolf were just fucking awful. Instantly forgettable aside from their stupid fucking haircuts, and the line "This is a song about doing our taxes.". The thing that Aids Wolf, and indeed Pre, need to learn is that to be a good noise band, you need to do something interesting with noise. You can't just make noise and instantly be good for it. And if they're not trying to be noise bands, then they're even worse than I already think they are.
That's my problem with Edward Monkton. Just coz he's random does NOT MAKE HIM FUNNY!! ANYONE can make up a stupid poem about chimps who make handbags out of cheese and sell them to your auntie, or some such shit that he comes out with, but he just isn't funny. He's just a dick. Stop buying his crappy postcards, magnets, books etc and instead use the money to buy a bullet, then carve his name into it and send him a photo of it. If he gets enough photos of bullets with his name on them, maybe he'll get the fear & stop forcing his oh so hilarious shit onto us, and JUST GO AWAY!!

Anyway, here's some other things that have been in my brain recently.
-Someone came into the shop and paid for something with a university credit card. Huh? What the fuck?
-The "Braille Version" of Andrea Bocelli's album, after much speculation, has turned out in fact to just be the regular album put in a cardboard sleeve that has about 2 or 3 words worth of braille printed into it. What a despicable scam.
-I actually stopped to buy a Big Issue off someone, but didn't actually have enough money. I felt a bit guilty.
-After weeks of being told that he is a cool new person, I checked out "Anthony"'s MySpace page to see what he's actually like. He's a total fucking gimp.
-My favourite new game to play at work is to put "High School Musical" onto the singalong subtitles mode and try to guess what the tunes to the songs are.

So that's pretty much it for now. Alex just told me she's gonna sue me for making her ill. I don't think she's ill, I think she's faking so she can pay legal fees. She loves doing that. If anyone's wondering when I'm gonna do my albums of the year blog like Enders & then later, Emma did, I have a couple more albums to listen to first, and then I will get down to the task of forcing my opinions on you. I know you love it.

1 comment:

Pipsywoo said...

Although your fantastic one liner on Saturday night was cruel in a sense and pretty offensive, it was fucking brilliant and perfectly timed, as was your exit...although admittely, I ended up being the drunken one after we went to The Cellar and ended up chatting shit while enjoying a nice drunken potter home, trying to juggle my balance, some McDonalds "food" and my belongings.

I look forward to the next episode of 'Axl, The One Liner Wonder Man'!