Some Haikus.

If We Were Dead

Your ghost and my ghost

having sex with each other

in a field somewhere.

(Hang on, is field two sylables?)

Stalker

Stop fucking texting

me at three in the morning

with 'I can see you.'

Spider

I hate you, spider.

Why won't you just go away

and leave me alone?

Broken Arm

HA HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Mum's broken her arm.

Robinson Crusoe

I love Man Friday.

His bum is really sexy.

I want to plough him.

Pubic Hair

Hey there, pubic hair!

Today I'm going to craft

you into a pig!