Friday, 8 January 2010

Axl's New Year's Resolution for 2010.

Most people get to the other side of Christmas and decide they have to make a New Year's Resolution. Most of the time it's something they don't necessarily want to do but feel that they should, like go to a gym, go on a diet, give up smoking and/or drinking, be nicer to that guy you're always a dick to, stuff like that. Problem with resolutions like these is that because most people are only doing them because they've had this notion that for some reason we should feel guilty Christmas is over and serve some sort of penance for essentially doing nothing but eat and drink and being given things for a few days drilled into their heads, they're trying to make changes they don't actually want to, which is why at least 90% of people you know never stick to their resolutions for any more than about 2-4 weeks.
Fuck that. If I make a resolution, I wanna make sure I fucking do it. I flake out of enough things as it is, I don't need to make up new shit to flake on aswell, and there is something that has been bothering me for a while now that I intend on rectifying.
My resolution this year is to make myself like tea.

Now, this may seem like a really pointless thing to do. If you don't like something, why should you force yourself to have it? Well you see, the thing about tea is that it's not just a drink, it's a social thing. People drink tea together and chat. It's one of the ways British people socialise, and it's something I always miss out on. Here's a typical conversation that has happened with almost everyone I know:

Generic Human: 'Do you want a cup of tea?'
Me: 'No thanks, I don't like tea.'
GH: 'Coffee?'
Me: 'No, I don't like coffee either I'm afraid. Just a glass of water will be fine thanks.'
GH: 'Are you sure?'
Me: 'Yeah.'
GH: 'Do you just not like hot drinks then?'
Me: 'If I'm out I like a hot chocolate, but I never have hot drinks at home.'
GH: 'What do you have when you're at home then?'
Me: 'I have Ribena usually.'
GH: 'Ah, do you ever have hot Ribena? Hot Ribena's lovely, especially when it's cold.'
Me 'No, I don't like it hot, I always just have it cold.'
GH: 'You don't like hot Ribena?'
Me: 'No.'
GH: 'Oh.....'

I am fucking sick to fucking death of having this conversation, I'm sick of drinking glasses of water and feeling like a social leper and I'm sick of EVERYONE asking me if I like hot Ribena. Of course I don't fucking like hot Ribena! Hot Ribena is absolutely FOUL. What's wrong with you people? Seriously.

So, since the 1st of January, I have had a cup of tea a day. So far it's going better than I expected. I was expecting it to be much more of a chore than I am actually finding it. See, many people have tried to change my mind about tea and everytime my opinion was the same; that tea tastes like dirty leaves that have been trodden into the mud in a forest. This was still my opinion for the first few days, but I'm already starting to come around to it. Yesterday, I even found myself WANTING a cup, as opposed to having to make myself have one.

The plan is to keep it at one cup a day until I get a bit more used to it, then I may start trying more cups in a day and seeing how that works out for me. I have also started by having milk and two sugars in each cup. The plan is to try and gradually phase myself out of having sugar as I get to actually like tea. (I got a little cocky on day 5 or 6 and had a cup with no sugar. It was not a pleasant experience.) I will not be phasing milk out tho, of course. That would just be stupid.

Today is day 8 of the resolution. I still don't really like tea, but I reckon I can definitely not just get used to it, but actually start to like it fairly soon. I dunno, we'll see how it goes I guess.


lex said...

I just had a giant cup of Morrisons extra strong tea, but I used two extra strong bags in one cup. Then I listened to some reggae. Half a sugar is best. x

Pipsywoo said...

I don't really see the point in waiting to have a drink if you're thirsty, hence my never really drinking hot drinks. Although my dislike of coffee is for other reasons, than it's being hot.

I only drink tea because my grandma made us drink it as kids, apparently water is for the common.
She always made it right though, strong, 2 sugars and a dash of milk - "builders tea" is the correct term.

And I also feel pressurised in to drinking tea when others offer, all I want is water or squash but the pressure gets too much. I feel your pain and good for you for actually choosing something worthwhile - essay, done!

P.S. I apologise for my Gordon Ramsey comment, it's my latest irritating habit! Apology, done! See!!!!

loleg said...

An even more sensible resolution for the decade would be to expand your palate...*and* never let anyone make you feel awkward over a silly farking custom. Having said that, I must admit I'm a complete tea addict and can't get by for a single dreary day on the Isle without some muddy crushed leaves in my scalding hot water. Fancy a cuppa?