Friday, 23 May 2008

Broken Laptop.

I haven't posted recently coz I stupidly wasn't paying attention while carrying my laptop and it slipped out of my hands and roughly banged the floor, causing it to get brain damage and not work at all anymore; so my current online time is limited by and to the charity of others. It's a pain in the arse. I haven't read anyone else's blogs, scrobbled any tracks onto, written pointless replies on Drowned In Sound or watched badly shot home made blowjob clips on youporn for over a week now. Luckily, going to ATP last weekend has meant I'm not really much in the mood to spend too much money for the rest of the month, or my craving for cheap cds would be getting pretty bad right now. I watched a couple of episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force earlier. God it felt good.

I'll do a proper ATP post at some point. Probably.

Right now I'm a little too shellshocked and weirded out by the Rock Band shenanigans of the day. For anyone who doesn't know, Rock Band is the new game that's going to everyone's favourite thing for about a month or two before everyone gets bored of it and finds themselves staring in disbelief at this 180 odd quids (130 for the guitars, drums, and mic controllers, 50 for the game itself) worth of junk they're never going to use again, shedding a tear as they wonder why the hell they bought it in the first place. Rock Band is the ultimate proof that people have more money than sense. Rock Band is a game that belongs in an arcade. You know why you don't have arcade machines at home? Because the only reason they're ever any good is that you only play them every now and then, so the excitement is still fresh. If you had an arcade machine in your house, you'ld get bored of it after about a month or two. This also applied to Guitar Hero 2, but a couple of months of fun for 45 quid is fair enough in my book. Rock Band will last about as long, and costs 4 times as much. Admittedly the drumming aspect does look like a lot of fun, and I'll almost certainly have a go and love it, but I sure as shit won't buy the fucking thing. For a start, I could put the money towards getting an actual drumkit, and secondly, how many times am I gonna have 3 mates over, who all want to play Rock Band?!
No. Better idea. Let's get drunk instead. Lets all get drunk and watch Eurovision. God, I really wanna get drunk and watch Eurovision. Fuck sport, all pubs should show Eurovision tomorrow. I'd spend a fucking fortune.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Rock Band. I dunno, maybe I'm just jaded coz I've had to endure kids trying to "play" along to Nirvana and OK Go about a hundred fucking times today. Oh, apart from the 20 minute period where a group of people kept on fucking up Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Seriously, after about 3 go's not even getting passed the intro, wouldn't you give up? Not these guys. They attempted it again and again for literally at least 20 minutes. I wanted to ram those fucking controllers up their arses sideways, bite their faces of and scream "JUST FUUUUUUCK OOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFF!!!!!" into the bloody mess of muscle, blood and tissue where their faces used to be.

So yeah. Rock Band bad, Eurovision good. GO SEBASTIAN TELLIER! VIVE LA FRANCE!!

Seriously, how weird is it that the UK entry this year is someone who lost a reality tv show, and France have put forward a proper established musician? Next year let's ship Portishead out and see what happens. NO! SHIT & SHINE!! They could write a nice little 3 minute pop song to fool everyone, and then when it came to the night, BAM!! Smack 'em up sharp with half an hour plus of one riff, multi-drummed DOOOOOOM!!!! That would be fucking amazing.

SHIT & SHINE FOR THE UK EUROVISION ENTRY OF 2009! The campaign starts here.


schmemma said...

i too have spent all weekend trying to ignore kids wailing along to nirvana/hole/weezer/etc, and all i can think when i see their tiny faces glued to the screen is 'why don't you go and buy some real instruments and form an actual band?'

i really don't like the thing as a whole..surely it's discouraging kids from going out and learning proper instruments? from being creative themselves? meh.

Fat Chan said...

Shit & shine at Eurovision would have been FUCKING AWESOME!!! as it goes though I think Bosnia & Herzgovinia's entry was BY FAR the best for shear mental madness hamsters! Oh and for rock band........couldn't agree more, I'm going to wait for a friend to buy it and play it at theirs £180???? you do know you can buy a Fucking Wii or 360 for that!!!!!! BONKERS!!! I hate EA!