Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Musings Of An Aging Man.

Notice I said aging, as in 'I am getting older', not as in 'I am old'. None of this "Oh Axl, yer not old blah de blah" bull crap.

I recently got 'found' on Facebook by my younger half-brother Ben. I just had a look on his profile and virtually every comment on his wall ends with "Lol". Hey, he's 15 so it's allowed okay? It does however add to the list of things that make me feel criminally old.
It's the induction week for my course at Ruskin this week. Ruskin is a college that specialises in teaching people who haven't been in education for a while. Basically this means that for the last 2 days I have been sitting in rooms full of people who are for the most part older than me. You would think this would make me feel young, right? On the contrary, being in an older environment is making me feel old. I'm not young, nubile & sexy enough to hang out with the young people at other colleges/universities, oh no. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say anything bad about these people. They seem nice enough, and for a learning environment a bunch of mature adults are gonna be a hell of a lot easier to get along with than a load of kids who are just out of school, wet behind the ears, arrogant little wankpots. But it still makes me feel old.
I made the mistake of looking at Bebo earlier too. Somehow Bebo came up in conversation with someone the other day, and I realised I didn't really know what it was. I knew it was a social networking site, but that was it. I went on it just now, and fucking hell. It's like Facebook & MySpace made love, and had a baby, but it was a baby made of vomit. Seriously, looking at a Bebo profile is like looking at every MySpace and Facebook profile you've ever seen all at the same time. It's so cluttered that it hurts yer eyes to look at it. It's the kind of madness that only kids could make head or tail of. Everyone on Bebo seems to be 17, 18 or 19. Everyone's wall or whatever Bebo call walls are covered in smileys and hearts. Everyones photos are the most posed photos you've ever seen in yer life (My favourite of the ones I saw from the 4 profiles I looked at before my eyes started to boil was someone called Craig, or "Mashhead", who found it necessary for his profile photo to be him topless and flexing his muscles.). It has surveys called "Are you straight lez bi or loner?", "What kind of gang member are you?" and "Are you sexy, slutty or ugly?" It has something called "Sofia's Diary" which has the tagline "You think your life sucks? Watch mine...", so I did. Episode 130 to be precise (For someone who seems to hate their life, it seems odd that they have no problem broadcasting 130 episodes of it to the whole world.). What did I see? Sofia, a slightly attractive girl in her late teens mopes around her bedroom for a bit before going to meet her friends, before walking along the South Bank (yes, it's set in London) where she meets a boy she really fancies and goes all snogging on him. Wow. Your life is like soooooo hard. A brief look at Episode 127 reveals to me that she works for a magazine called "Wicked". Go away now Bebo please. Go away, re-brand yerself "ChavSpace" and have done with it.
I can't remember what else makes me feel old now. My memory seems to be getting worse as I get older. Hey, that's another thing that makes me feel old!


Fat Chan said...

Bebo is a fucking retarded site anyway, I bloody hate clutter on pages. And what the fuck is a survey called 'Are you sexy, slutty or ugly?"! Those three adjectives don't even fit together on a scale since one describes a social style not an appearance description; also if you were to take slutty as an appearance description are they not rather unbalanced, it's like saying "Are you starving, hungry or about to explode from food overload!" Grrrrrr, I agree, fuck off Bebo....you wanky piece of arse hair, I have to put up with the chav retards chat logs etc at work enough as it is without you spreading that filth through the web. Hmmmmmm it feels like my reply has almost turned into a blog post in itself; sorry for hijacking your blog mate.....hope things are going good at college for you!!
Love & kisses x

Pipsywoo said...


Sorry, couldn't resist

Anonymous said...

you're only as old as you feel! if that's the truth than i feel like some strange, age-ambidextrous man-child. not a lady-child, but a gay man-child--stuck somewhere between 12 and 93. not all the ages in between, but literally, sometimes 12 and sometimes 93. it's odd. my memory is embarrassing and i struggle. being a student makes this worse!!

i'll stop that now.

Ben said...

Sorry for making you feel criminally old Paul. It's just the way I am.