Thursday 31 May 2007

Edinburgh.

Have done absolutly fuck all this week. But I did sign the lease on the flat, so anytime after 1st July that I get a job transfer, I'm gonna be living here! Scary & exciting in equal measures.
Apart from that tho' I really haven't done anything.

I haven't heard anything more from that racist guy who commented on here. Pussy.

Right, well I really don't have anything else to say.

Friday 25 May 2007

Dear "Yesterday Is The New Tomorrow"

(Ooooh! Another comment from someone I don't know! How exciting! Let's read it! Oh. Hmmm. It's from someone called "Yesterday Is The New Tomorrow" and it says "Judging by your extraordinarily poor use of the English language and obsession with profanity, I suggest you omitted the gravest problem in this country and the biggest failing of successive governments since 1945: education.")

I would like to apologise to "Yesterday Is The New Tomorrow" for my "extraordinarily poor use of the English language". You see M'lud, I may have forgotten to mention I was a little hammered at the time, and obviously my grasp of words was not what it should have been. Still, I do feel, however personally you form it, that you do have a point about education. Just probably not the one you're trying to make.
If people were educated properly, then maybe organisations like the BNP wouldn't be threatening to seriously hold some political weight. Maybe if people were educated properly they would realise that people coming over here stealing our jobs often have to work more than one job just to try and make ends meet because the jobs they do do are so low in pay. Maybe they woul realise that in fact not all immigrants are trying to sponge off the system and there are legitimate reasons for someone to want to come to this country.
So however pathetic your little personal dig was (seriously, you sounded like one of those guys who hangs around on forum sites all day slagging people off because they spell one word wrong), you do have a good point about education. Thankyou for pointing that out.

I do however not apologise for my use of profanity. I think it is a gross misconception of the modern age that use of profanity equates to poor education or some sort of lack in intelligence. I think people who comment/think like that are stuck up and arrogant, and think this probably because of their fantastic ability to use several words where in fact a couple will do.

Also, I had a look at your blog. Sadly it seems that you have no other interesting points to make. I do hope that this is not true, as you seem like quite an intelligent person yourself. It would be a shame to see that intelligence wasted on something as petty as small minded racism.

So if you do manage to think of another interesting point, then by all means do post it in my comments. It's always interesting to hear the other side of an argument. If however you have nothing more than sniping little comments and petty little hatred, then you can fuck off.

Wednesday 23 May 2007

Oh My Fucking God...

"Vote BNP" just requested me as a friend on MySpace. Instead of denying them straight away, I sent them a message. This is what I sent:
"Hello.
Dear Facist Cunts
Me and my asian boyfriend, who I have been together with for 3 years now and whos parents were themselves immigrants, would absolutly love to be friends with you. There are however some questons we would like answering beforehand.
1. How do you expect a multi-national population to ever take your views seriously? Remember, this isn't the Edwardian ages, and however much you try to hide it, Britain is not a white country.
2. How do you expect anyone to take you seriously when your public declarations directly oppose your core beliefs/"Policies", i.e. The idea that the abolition of immigration is somehow not a racist policy.
3. Do you really think that in the modern age the majority of people will agree with such a tiny minded set of beliefs that are so exclusive to a small group ofg people, will be not only taken seriously, but be widely accepted?
May we suggest that infact, you should instead look at what is actually wrong with our country, a poorly run national health system, an increasingly difficult to penetrate housing market, increasingly unappealing work conditions, etc etc etc, and look at the people making these decisions/changes/rules. Notice somethiong about them? Yes, they are all white British people. Maybe the problem isn't immigrants of foreigners at all. If you actually look at it, the reason for all the problems this country has, are all down to the decisions/"Policies" made by upper/middle class white British people. So stop fucking scapegoating people who have little or nothing to do with what you think is wrong with the way things are and lpook at the actual truth. You small minded, petty little fuckong cunts.
You are pathetic, scaremongering cunts. Fuck off."
Hopefully that will at least show these small minded fucks that not every white person in Britain is willing to put up with their abhorant behaviour. These people are scum and should not be tollerated under any circumstances.

Tuesday 15 May 2007

Axl's Adventures In Leicester/Youthmovies Blog.

So anyway, on Saturday I went to Leicester to sing on the new Youthmovies album. After leaving the pub (The Orange Tree. Nice pub. Gets bonus points for having a cider on tap that isn't fucking Strongbow or Blackthorn.) We went to the studio. I can't remember the name of the studio, but it's basically a converted flat above a Karate Dojo. It's a really nice studio too, I can see why they wanted to record there.
Anyway, Graham conducted us in some warm ups, and then we recorded our parts for one of two songs we will be appearing on.
(I should point out that "We" refers to The Broken Throats Choir. The collection of humans that made it to Leicester for the task in hand. Or mouth if you will. I was the only Oxfordian to make the journey.)
The first of the songs we recorded for, our parts consisted of single note & chord drones/held notes. We did this pretty well. They even got us doing four part harmonies at one point, which is harder than it sounds. Then we recorded some "Random" noises, also for the same song. I think. Lots of "Mmmm"s, "Ooooo"s, "Kaaaa"s, hissing, funny faces, and the occasional break down into laughter. And Paul (the guy who owns the studio) brought us a tray of water, which was real decent of him.
Then we had a break for a few minutes, at which point it became very apparent that almost everyone else was in a band or was involved in some scene that meant basically that I stood around like a lemon for a few minutes while everyone was being very cool talking about what tours they were doing or how projects were going and how new material was panning out. Muggins here was trying to not stick out like a sore thumb, but inevitably did. I even did that thing where you hover near someone you know just so you don't seem quite so out of place and show that infact yes you should actually be here.
Luckily this didn't last too long as we were called upon to record our vocals for the second songs we were to sing on. Proper lines with words in and everything. But first we got to hear the song.
It sounds really good. It's obviously unfinished, but it's clear that the ammount of time they've had this time round is really paying off. I cannot wait to hear the album as, on this small indication, and thinking how good the songs I've already heard them play live will be sounding like this too, it sounds like it's gonna be totally awesome, and something they can really be proud of.
Then we got played just our bit, so we could get a feel for how we would need to sing these words, then a couple of practice runs, then the real thing. I think we recorded at least 7 takes, and by the end my voice was starting to give up, but Ant and the guys clearly got something they wanted coz they were really complimentary about it.
And that was it. Broken Throats done. Back to The Orange Tree for a pint of Stowford Press.
Then just as I was about to go, Ham asked if I wanted to get some food. I was fucking starving. So me, Ham, Al & Graham trotted on to KFC for two big fat buckets of chicken. Back to the studio. Stuff faces.
It felt good.
Then they were setting up to do some guitar & organ drones for a track. I thought I should probably leave them to it, but them Ham asked "Can you film this?" Like I'm gonna say no to that! So I got to hang around listening to Al & Andrew play around with their guitars and various pedals, then hear them and Ham recording a take of drone. It was awesome. And yes, I did film it too. Which was cool. They even used some of it in their studio diary. And anyone who knows my voice will recognise me in the "Scrotogenic" exchange. Tee hee hee.
Then it really was time to go. My last train time was getting ever nearer. (read Train Blog #2 for all the hilarity that ensued with that.)
"Thanks for coming today."
"No, thankyou. I've had an awesome day!"
I really did.

Sunday 13 May 2007

Train Blog #2

This blog was written on the train to and from Leicester to go and sing on the new Youthmovies album.

12/05/07 - 8:49am:

Another train, another journey. Leicester this time, to be part of The Broken Throats Choir. There's a guy just over from me who's wearing a necklace that says "SDJTRY". I've been trying to work out what it possibly means. He's been looking thru his collection of old train tickets. He's in his 50's. I can tell by his general demeanour and way of moving that I'm probably gonna be just like him when I'm that age. But with a different collection, and I won't drink Capri-Sun, Coz that stuff's pretty nasty. Seriously, that stuff tastes like flat Panda Cola. It's wrong, I tell you.
A woman just gave me a dirty look for blowing my nose. Well obviously she is perfect and no unpleasent bodily functions happen to her, the kind of person who claims they never fart. Yeah, that's right, pixies come in the night to steal and store your gas in special suitcases which they then take back on their merry way back to Pixieland, where they use the gas to power their homes. Those economic, eco-friendly little pixies.
Seriously, people who say they don't fart are liars & twats.
I'm listening to "The Roots Of Dubstep" collection. I'm getting really into Dubstep at the moment. (9:21 - Coventry - Quite disappointing today actually. Som cute ladies, a couple of hotties, but not the abundance of beauty there normally is.) Ooooh, Excitment! The police just took someone off the train! Wonder what he did? We've left without him.
Anyway, Dubstep. I find it a really interesting genre. Something that started as Garage/Two-Step instrumentals evolved into something sparser and darker. It's really interesting how it's evolving, with other influences coming into play too & where different artists are taking it. Like how Burial has brought in a real ambient/soundscape sound to take it somewhere almost totally different. Or how there's quite a feel of digital dancehall/dub coming thru in some of the sounds, riffs and instrumentation that Skream uses in some of his work, and how Boxcutter takes Dubstep into the realms of Warp Records in it's prime. Dubstep is still a relativly very new genre. It's gonna be really interesting to see where and how it evolves, builds and goes from here.
I've used "Really interesting" a bit too much there. but this has happily taken my mind off the fact that once I'm in Leicester, I'm fucked coz I'll have no idea where I am or where I'm going. I tried looking on the internet, but was given about 9 different streets of the same name, all in Leicester, and when I tried a different site with a route finder, it gave me a walk that said it would take over 5 hours! Considering Al said it was a 10 minute walk from the station, I think that's probably not the street I'm after.

It wasn't. I got a map at the station for a quid, and it was indeed about a 10-15 minute walk away.

8:11pm
So now I'm on a train to London. Why, I hear you cry? Well, old numpty gubbins pot here got his times a bit confused. So I've just paid a stupid amount to go to London so I can get back to Oxford from there. All because I read 19:51 as 19:58. I'm going senile, I know it. Earlier on I called Andrew, Al. And I just realised I left my digital camera at the studio. But I'm not going to let this get me down coz I've had a fucking wicked day.
After getting to Leicester, I found where the studio was, and in quite a loserish moment, went to HMV coz I had time to kill. Found a couple of Dubstep albums I was after tho', so being a loser paid off. Went back to the studio to meet up with Youthmovies and we went to a pub to wait for other people to turn up. They did. At about 1ish, we all went to the studio.

I'm afraid that's where this blog ends. I know yer all dying to hear what happened next, and I will tell you, but at this point I fell asleep on the train. I got the Oxford Tube home and slept all the way on there too. Then I woke up feeling really rough, got home and slept for about 11-12 more hours. Clearly catching up on a lot of sleep I haven't been getting for the last couple of weeks.

Byeeeeeee.

Thursday 10 May 2007

Another Day For You & Me In Paradise.

Traditionally, Tuesday is the "Day Of The Retard" at work, but today we had an overspill. Clearly one day just isn't enough for all of them anymore. We had the classic "Old Person Who Complains About Every Single Thing To Do With The Shop Because We Don't Have The Exact Specific CD They're After". She described everything as "Hateful noise." and said we had "Miles & miles of things no-one would ever want." completely failing to notice the well documented decline in poularity of classical music in the western world, and also the fact that a business simply cannot run unless people want what it has, but that second point is common sense, which we all know that some people just do not have. Luckily, I didn't have to hear any of this, Nik did. The complaining she did to me was while she was walking away so I have no idea what she said. This was closely followed by "Man Who Gets Overly Angry Because We Don't Have The DVD He Wants". This specimen will almost always never listen to what you try to say and instead get locked into "Aggresive Mode". Particularly weak specimens, like todays, will walk off when you try to speak, mumbling their complaints to themselves more than to you. Retard No. 3 was the lesser spotted "Man Who Chips In To Another Conversation/Event So He Can Vent His Own Particular Opinion On Something Unrelated", with the pearl of wisdom, "Maybe it was this music that pissed him off so much." Hahaha. Ahahahahaha. Oh well done. I do hope you didn't use your whole brain thinking up that one, we wouldn't want you forgetting how to breathe now, would we? Dick.

So yes. Work, a joy as ever. I do have more to write, but it will have to wait as I am very tired and need to sleep. I will try to do it tomorrow.

The Blog has truly landed!
This blog is dedicated to "Lardy Big Bot", my first blog reader who I don't even know. She is not a retard.

Monday 7 May 2007

AXL'S 50TH BLOG!

Question.

If you were being raped by a clown, would the fact it was a clown actually make it quite funny, or would it make it even more harrowing?

Train Blog.

I wrote this blog on a piece of paper on a train to Edinburgh:

26/04/07

6:44am: So I'm on another train for another 6 hours of songs in my ears and british landscape rushing past. All I want to do is sleep, but I've got to change trains in an hour and I can get real paranoid about shit like that sometimes. Today is one of those times. My head is groggy & my legs feel very heavy.
I keep dozing off.

7:24am: Whenever I travel this journey, I've noticed there are always lots of attractive women at Coventry station. Always much more than at any other station. Is Coventry some kind of beautiful people place?
I've got a spot! I'm 26, why am I still getting spots? Fuck's sake.
I either need a small wee or a massive poo. I can't work out which.

9:47am: Just left Preston.
Had a lovely snooze. Seen some lovely sights. Laughed at the couple who got on at Crewe who were looking directly at the seat number saying 37 and said "Where's 37 then?". There's a green thing on the floor & I can't work out what it is.
Good to see at Birmingham that they've staggered the Edinburgh trains & have them leaving from totally different platforms. For those who don't know, one time I had to change trains at Birmingham I got on the wrong one. They have 2 train services that go to Edinburgh from Birmingham. One that goes up the west side route and one that goes up the east side route. Both routes are run by Virgin Trains. They decided to have them leave at the same time, one from platform 8a and one from platform 8b. Anyway, I got on the wrong one, which meant my journey was going to take an hour longer. I spoke to the trains attendants and everything was fine. So anyway I'd resigned myself to being an extra hour on the train and was fine with it. Hey, it's one more album I get to listen to. Then we got to Newcastle.
This in itself wasn't a problem, but a few minutes out of Newcastle there was this very loud noise like rocks hitting the train. Then you could feel the train coming off the tracks as it ran over something. For a second, the thought "Oh fuck, we're derailing! Oh fuck, we're gonna crash! Oh fuck, I'm gonna die!" inhabited my brain, but luckily for us we were fine and the train simply slowed down to a stop. Anyway, turns out that what we had run over was in fact not rocks, but a person who had decided they no longer wanted to live. What followed was a 3 hour standstill, followed by us having to go back to Newcastle because the person throwing themselves infront of the train had managed to actually damage the front of the train in a way that somehow meant that we couldn't actually move forward. So we had to go back and change trains. I ended up being over 4 hours late to Edinburgh. This train isn't going thru Newcastle, so I'm not particularly concerned about suicidal northerners right now.

10:37am: Dozed off for a minute and had a very odd dream where V had hurt her ears, so Seb had sex with her. Very wierd.

7:42pm: After purging my mind of that, I pretty much slept the rest of the way. Now I'm at The Good Lady Friend's flat, just chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool. Maybe I'll shoot a b-ball near a school. If you shot a basketball, would it explode or just deflate slowly? If I shot a basketball, I would definitly want it to explode. I'd be pretty pissed off if it didn't.

And then I wrote this one on the train back to Oxford. Don't worry. It's shorter than that one.

01/05/07

4:58pm: The sun is constantly shining on me which would be lovely if Iweren't in a big metal tube with too many other people hurtling down the trains at too many miles an hour coz the drivers tryin to make a 28 minute delay caused by a broken rail just outside Newcastle (It's always bloody Newcastle!). The air is clogged with other peoples sweat and odour. The sun is blazing right fucking on me. I feel sick.
One thing I've nopticed about trains is that so many reserved seats remain empty. I realise this does contradict what I just said about there being too many people on here, but basically theres this one massive group of people who hadn't reserved seatsand managed to all sit together no-one who had seats reserved seem to have got on the train. But why is this? This isn't a one off journey, this happens every time. Loads of reserved seats go unused or have people who haven't reserved then for that particular journey using them. Do people just book journeys and not use them? Does hardly anyone bother to sit in their reserved places? Other reasons I can't think of right now?

6:06pm: That group's still here, on about their 4th bottle of Cava, being all loud and thinking everyone's really interested in their reception dinners and trial periods for them to test whatever. And their kids. Everyone's kids are so bloody fascinating aren't they?

6:27pm: Yay! We're coming into Birmingham and they're all getting off! Hurrah!

6:40pm:Wow! hardly anyone's on here now! Nice.

6:47pm: The sun's finally leaving me alone now too! Ah......Lovely.

6:55pm: Coventry. Mmmmmmm......................

So there. That's the kind of thing that goes thru my head when I'm on the train. The best album I listened to on the train was Throbbing Gristle Part Two "The Endless Not" which is fucking ace!